CSI Miami: You Are Dead to Me

I’ve been a fan of CSI, in all its forms, since the very beginning. I’ve enjoyed each show as they’ve spun off from the original, but I’ve watched CSI Miami go downhill for so long now that I just can’t take it anymore. It’s a combination of things I just couldn’t take any longer: Horatio Cane’s penchant for standing sideways, appearing out of thin air, wearing his sunglasses indoors, and spouting idiotic one-liners. And poor writing that made CSI Miami into more of a wannabe cop action drama than something that relied on forensics and science.

And speaking of science and technology, all the CSI shows have gone overboard when it comes to one-upping each other with who can have the coolest animations for Codis DNA lookups. But CSI Miami somehow traveled a decade into the future and gained access to 9th generation Microsoft Surface computing workstations – you know, the ones with 120 inch wide-screen displays, the ability to place any phone on the surface and immediately pull data off of it, and 3D projection displays. It’s like each member of the special effects department working on CSI Miami takes a hit of acid before they work on an episode and they come up with increasingly crazier technologies that don’t yet exist. Every year the show gets more and more unrealistic, likely to compensate for the increasingly poor writing.

CSI Miami, you are dead to me. There are better things to watch on TV, like The Mentalist.