CSI Miami: You Are Dead to Me

I’ve been a fan of CSI, in all its forms, since the very beginning. I’ve enjoyed each show as they’ve spun off from the original, but I’ve watched CSI Miami go downhill for so long now that I just can’t take it anymore. It’s a combination of things I just couldn’t take any longer: Horatio Cane’s penchant for standing sideways, appearing out of thin air, wearing his sunglasses indoors, and spouting idiotic one-liners. And poor writing that made CSI Miami into more of a wannabe cop action drama than something that relied on forensics and science.

And speaking of science and technology, all the CSI shows have gone overboard when it comes to one-upping each other with who can have the coolest animations for Codis DNA lookups. But CSI Miami somehow traveled a decade into the future and gained access to 9th generation Microsoft Surface computing workstations – you know, the ones with 120 inch wide-screen displays, the ability to place any phone on the surface and immediately pull data off of it, and 3D projection displays. It’s like each member of the special effects department working on CSI Miami takes a hit of acid before they work on an episode and they come up with increasingly crazier technologies that don’t yet exist. Every year the show gets more and more unrealistic, likely to compensate for the increasingly poor writing.

CSI Miami, you are dead to me. There are better things to watch on TV, like The Mentalist.

  • timh

    ok, let’s be fair here… very little of any of the CSI shows have much factual tie in to how forensic science in a police station is conducted. In principal though, you’re right. Horatio is the worst TV character of all time.

  • Janak Parekh

    Agreed with timh. CSI NY isn’t even shot in NY, and that’s why it almost never has outdoor scenes (and the few are always an alley). Bleah!

    Re The Mentalist: I haven’t seen it, but one of my favorite shows ever may have been its inspiration: Psych (on USA). Absolutely awesome show.

  • Cold Flame

    Oh come on guys. Horatio is a one man military. Didn’t you know that CSI’s usually do everything from the actual crime scene investigation, down to the tracking and arresting of criminals? LOL…

    I stopped watching all the CSI’s for that reason; just too ridiculously false.

  • I’ve stopped watching almost all television because so much of it is just not worth my time; I would rather read something, play a game, or spend time with friends. The truly good shows inevitably are the quirky ones that bring in poor ratings and are canceled. So many shows these days that contain a technology element go so incredibly overboard with the special effects, that it’s just painful to watch. Everyone can pull up information on someone nearly instantaneously and present that information in a flashy, overly-animated GUI that nobody would ever actually develop. Every action on screen is accompanied by a beep, buzz, or other sound effect that would drive real-world users of those systems insane. Why does every computer on TV and in film make a sound effect as information scrolls up the screen? Seriously, have you ever used a program that does this?

    The very best crime drama I’ve ever seen was a Canadian series called Da Vinci’s Inquest. No flashy technology, excellent writing, believable characters and plots, and excellent performances by all the actors. I wish we could get a show like that in the US. I’ve been looking for a good deal on the DVDs since the show only seems to air here in syndication at totally absurd times like 03:00 AM on Sunday mornings. Of the eight seasons that aired, only the first three are available on DVD, and they’re about US$60 each. I’ve read reviews of the DVDs that state some of the releases are edited and/or censored for content, which is annoying. I just checked and saw that NetFlix has them; maybe I should just sign up for that.

  • idkanythinglol

    Hey Umm idk if you will see this But i LOVE CSI:MIAMI its my faviorte show so DON’T dis it ok? ok! well umm i don’t like plain CSI i just like NY and MIAMI yup c ya L8ter

  • idkanythinglol

    OMG i8 love Ratio don’t Dis him ether!!

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